How to Win Friends as an Introvert


There’s no doubt introverted people have a difficult time making friends when compared to their extroverted counterparts. But, while it may be more difficult, it is certainly not impossible. Sometimes, it may require you to break out of your comfort zone a bit. But, you won’t need to go too far.

One way of getting comfortable meeting new people is to be in the same place at the same time each week, such as a local park, or a coffee shop, meditation group, yoga class or some favorite activity that you enjoy. You’ll start to become familiar with other people who regularly show up.

Familiarity makes it easy to strike up conversations, such as, “I noticed the shoes you walk with. Are they comfortable?” You may even find people approaching you and starting a conversation!

Even if the conversations are brief in the beginning, the initial contact makes it easier each day to go further with your conversations. It’s only a matter of time before you or the other people will suggest going for a cup of coffee, or going to a class together.

Keep your conversations as general as possible, or if you want to add some personal information, talk about your work or hobbies, etc. You want your conversation to develop and flourish. Getting too personal right away will scare people off. So, save your personal stuff for when you’ve become friends.

If you are an introvert, it’s likely people who approach you will be extroverted. This is okay but you don’t want to let them control the situation all the time. Establish boundaries and keep firm with what you will allow (all that means is don’t say yes to things until you’re comfortable—practice saying NO), otherwise, you will find yourself going along with whatever they suggest, even if you are not comfortable or ready.

Be willing to let people approach you. This can be difficult for shy or introverted people but this is where breaking out of your comfort zone is essential. After you open up to others, you may even find yourself reaching out to others! Now won’t that be grand!

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